Dear Fellow Shareholders,
“What in the name of the
three Star Gods have you been doing?” demanded Lazarus Leung, just the other
day. Distracted from mixing a Dalmore 62 Single Malt and Extrajoss Cola, I looked up to face the esteemed hong’s Director of Corporate Affairs.
“Leave your weblog idle,” he said, “and Struan’s will think you’ve gone soft!”
Freshly poached from the
Hong Kong Bank (along with a few stockbroker pals), Leung’s interjection
indicates he still isn’t au fait with
RG’s corporate culture. “Look, Yeung,” I
intoned. “The only thing that’s gone soft is the Taipan’s Jade Stem. Address me
like that again and you’ll be cleaning Wah Hing Lane Public Toilet faster than
you can say Diu Nei Lo—”
Joss alive! Perhaps the
man has point?
Dismissing Leung with a
wrathful flash of my eyes, I relax and stare out to where Lion Rock used to be.
I say used to be, because thanks to Struan’s latest real estate
development, I can’t see it any more. Logging onto Rothwell-Gornt’s
Intranet page, I realise I haven’t posted anything for four years (four – what an
fornicating unlucky number!). Everything’s been a blur since I upped my intake
of Dalmore Extrajoss.
But there’s more. Leung’s
words have tripped a switch: my nemesis Ian Dunross is getting married! With
the assistance of my sylphlike secretary, Taeniasis Wong, I locate the invitation
on my desk. The sepia photograph depicts a man at ease. His hand is wrapped
around the waist of a slender blonde, roughly his equal in height. He smiles
through his pirate’s beard. The date is this weekend, the location
Buckinghamshire (should I pack my snorkel?).
This, fellow
shareholders, is sterling news. With his eye no longer on the markets -
distracted by wedding preparations and other husbandly duties – now is an
opportune time to strike. Sharpen your chopsticks, for we shall sell him short,
unleash our most belligerent lawyers, and hammer him in the region’s press! Leung was right, what perfect timing to resurrect my weblog; I shall
have the old boy promoted.
Now, the eighty-eight thousand dollar
question: will you, Quillan Gornt, sworn blood enemy of Ian Dunross
and the entire Noble House, attend the wedding? – Not in a thousand generations of Brocks.
Best of
joss,
Quillan Gornt
CEO
and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt
Holdings
