Saturday, February 7, 2009

Extrajoss: Coming To a Store Near You!

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

I am delighted to inform you of the successful launch of the latest product offering in Rothwell-Gornt's consumer beverage line - Extrajoss Cola. So excited was I about this new product that I named it myself!

More than a mere melamine delivery vehicle, Extrajoss Cola provides the rich pungent taste of durian puree, combined with artificially sweetened carbonated water, and comes in a number of different and alarming colours.

Part of the experience is the Extrajoss container itself: Underneath the ring pull of any given can are marked the words "Good Joss!" or "Bad Joss!", giving the purchaser some indication as to how his or her day will go.

The product is currently on trial across select locations in Southeast Asia before a potential global roll out. I expect Extrajoss to deliver a significant blow to the sales of the ubiquitous (yet comparatively tasteless) Struan's Cola.

Wishing you Extrajoss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings


Tai-Pan said...


how you can launch this product in Hong Kong after the insecticide tainting scandals it suffered in the Philippines I do not know.

Struan's Cola may be 'tasteless' to you, but then I suspect your palette is only activated by industrial chemicals. To the rest of the populace, it remains the number one choice of cola in Hong Kong.

Private Beach said...

Joking aside, I read today that "green Pepsi-Cola" has been launched on the market. Given the current public interest in all things (pseudo-)environmental, I am sure it will give both yours and Struan's sickly concoctions a run for their money.

Tai-Pan said...


If you find Struan's regular 'Stag' Cola too sweet, it is available in a sugar free varietal. As Hong Kong's longest established and favourite brand of Cola, we're keen to please all our customers and have thus diversified our range to suit.

As for a Green cola, maybe Gornt's is closer in colour, but the Noble House's more in spirit. Every unit of Struan's cola that is sold raises money to fight Amazonian deforestation.

As for our rivals, no true Hong Konger would sup a foreign brand when they have home-grown alternatives to choose. And as only one of those is safe to drink, I hope you will continue to drink Struan's for a long time yet.

Be sure it's Struan's!

Kind regards,

The Tai-Pan

Quillan Gornt said...


Green cola/sugar free Stag Cola - Pah! For wimps only.

Cola is about delivering the 'full impact' - be it sweetness, melamine, or eenvironmental degradation.

Best of joss,