Saturday, November 28, 2009

The SCMP Responds

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

My delectable young secretary Ebola Choi recently received the following repsonse from the South China Morning Post:

Dear Mr Gornt,

... I need to check your name. I am assuming this is a pseudonym, given that Quillan Gornt is a character in the novel Taipan. If so, this letter must run under your real name.

Letters Editor

Damn and blast this publication. It is more pestilent that the loathsome Noble House itself. Along with Dunross, they shall be sold short in tomorrow's trading.

Best of seasonal joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell Gornt Holdings

Gornt Writes to the SCMP

Dear Editor,

I have been shocked, distressed and angry in equal measure with the views shared by two fellow expatriates in yesterday’s [today's] letters section.

In his letter, (“Cultural Mix”) Mike Brooks remarks in a tone reminiscent of a fallen Tai-pan that the “Hong Kong Chinese way” does not work, that Hong Kong’s international city hallmark vindicates any decision not to learn Chinese, and that Hong Kong’s greatest misfortune was that the British left.

Peter Sherwood (“Behind France”), meanwhile, makes an outlandish comparison between Hong Kong and a Pyrenean village following a recent sojourn to the French mountains. He notes that food is cheaper and that the French have superior recycling facilities.

While Brooks’ opinions are both antiquated and unseemly, Sherwood’s obscure correlation is completely asinine (I am surprised he didn’t mention air quality!). The solution to what some call “irritable gweilo syndrome” is straightforward - if Hong Kong is no longer good enough for you, you may leave.

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
The Peak