Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Taipan Or Not Taipan, That is the Question!

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

The term “Taipan” is used liberally across Hong Kong – From the mahogany-finished corporate boardrooms of Central, to the less salubrious backstreets of Sham Shui Po. But what does it actually mean, and who is worthy of being labeled Taipan?

Here are a few rules of thumb: It means “supreme leader”; it applies only to the upper echelon of Hong Kong’s business community; there may only be one Taipan per company; they must be prominent members of society; they must be financially independent; and they must be in constant competition.

With that in mind, here are a few case studies on its usage (from the Standard):

1. “Sheldon Anderson – the taipan of Las Vegas Sands Corp who has been hit hard by the credit crunch…” 13th November, 2008.
INCORRECT: Las Vegas Sands is NOT a Hong Kong-based company, therefore he cannot be a Taipan.

2. “… to select a successor for former party taipan James Tien Pei-chun...” 6th October, 2008.
INCORRECT: You cannot be Taipan of a political party.

3. “Taipan Albert Cheng has finally got the ExCo green light to set up his radio station…” 10th July, 2008.
INCORRECT: It may be his nickname, but radio man Albert Cheng is NOT a Taipan.

4. “Of the show of confidence by the Cheung Kong taipan, [David] Li said…” 26th September, 2008.
CORRECT: Cheung Kong boss Li Ka-shing is a Taipan – one of Hong Kong’s most prominent.

5. “Swire Pacific taipan Christopher Pratt received HK$15.41 million compensation…” 9th April, 2008.
CORRECT: The leader of Swire Pacific is by default a Taipan.

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings

Monday, November 24, 2008

Corporate Social Resposibility? More Like Community Sincerity Reduction!

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

As the Taipan of Hong Kong’s most distinguished trading house, I am frequently asked why my company spurns opportunities to participate in CSR programmes. My answer is as follows.

If a company engages in CSR it does so for two reasons. It is: (1) making hideous amounts of money; (2) ashamed of how it has aggregated this largesse. CSR is then engaged as a means of disconnecting points (1) and (2).

Now recall from your memories some of the highest profile CSR programmes in Hong Kong. Undoubtedly, Standard Chartered’s sponsorship of the Hong Kong Marathon springs to mind. You may also recall Cathay Pacific’s carbon offsets – or their Asian Waterbird Conservation Fund. The CSR smokescreen is ineffective in both cases.

Everyone knows that the average Standard Chartered banker would never break sweat (unless they were late for a client meeting with a Taipan). Similarly, Cathay’s offsets are largely insignificant against a fleet of 747s which inject tonnes of CO2 into the stratosphere on a daily basis – and kill birds through a phenomenon known as bird strike.

Shareholders, fear not - Gornt is not going soft! Your Taipan merely wishes to highlight the lack of sincerity that lurks uncomfortably behind such campaigns. On the contrary, Rothwell-Gornt seeks to be honest with the community – “We are getting rich - it is glorious, and we are proud of it!”

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings

Monday, November 17, 2008

Fishing for Value in Hong Kong's Murky Waters

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

I am informed by Rothwell-Gornt’s Head of Research that Hong Kong has officially slipped into recession. This is indeed beastly news for many of our finest, most ruthful, and opportunistic companies.

The downturn has already had an impact on some of our less prepared corporations: ATV Limited has sacked 47 staff; Lane Crawford, have fired 10% of their employees; and regrettably Cantopopped Criminology Labs will be officially closing their doors in less than two weeks.

Moreover, in a recent discussion with the Managing Director of Squid Fishing Tours HK Ltd., I discussed my plan to purchase a little known company in the New World named “General Motors”. He does not seem to be much of a fan.

Perhaps I will simply make a hostile move on Squid Fishing Tours HK Ltd. instead? I shall run this idea past the Board of Directors. Fellow CEO blogger Richard Edelman, at least, should be on my side.

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings

Thursday, November 13, 2008

What "They" Said

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

It has been rather an uphill battle for Rothwell Gornt's new Head of Media Relations. Here are what a few leading publications have recently said about your Taipan, Quillan Gornt:

"A nasty piece of work..." -- Barnes and Noble
"As shady as Dunross is honorable..." -- New York Times
"The evil Taipan..." -- Far Eastern Economic Review
"A dodgy Pavarotti lookalike..." -- FinanceAsia
"Sublimely named... a complex antagonist..." -- Doubleosection

Now to business!

This weekend shall be spent aboard the Sunseeker 105, as I consider a hostile takeover of a relatively small American outfit named "General Motors". The current valuation really is rather attractive.

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings

Monday, November 10, 2008

Ex-Taipan Accused of Jockey Club Scam - But Hong Kong Rules Should Apply

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

Today’s breakfast glass of Dom Perignon at Gornt Mansions was made all the more pleasant as I glanced at the
cover story in today’s South China Morning Post: “Ex-Taipan Accused of Jockey Club Scam.”

Naturally, my initial reaction was that story related to
Ian Dunross, CEO of the Noble House – he is after all a waning “ex-Taipan”. However, the story relates to Jardine’s, a company closely associated to Struan’s – and more specifically their former comprador John Hung.

Having fully considered the charges placed by the
Independent Commission Against Cantopop (ICAC) against John Hung, I now feel some sympathy for the man. After all, when it comes to the Happy Valley races, one must do what one must to stay ahead – Remember, this is Hong Kong!

For example, which Jockey Club steward can honestly say they have not been involved in rigging a bet, drugging a competitor’s horse, running an underground betting syndicate, or carefully ‘managing’ the odds? Such activities are rife – but also necessary under “Hong Kong rules”.

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings
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Ex-Taipan Accused of Jockey Club Scam – SCMP
“The former taipan of one of Hong Kong's most prominent companies is among four people arrested and charged by the Independent Commission Against Cantopop (ICAC) over alleged bribery and deception in relation to applications for membership of the Hong Kong Jockey Club…

… A holder of the Silver Bauhinia Star, [John Terence] Hung is a descendant of M. C. Hung, the last comprador of Jardine's, the former British hong, or trading company. He had a 34-year career with Wharf and Wheelock, running several subsidiaries before taking over the top job….”