Monday, March 2, 2009

Rats and Rabbits! – Plot Perdu at Paris Auction

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

My failure to secure the winning bid for the Chinese “Rat and Rabbit” bronze sculptures at the Collection Yves Saint Laurent et Pierre Berge auction in Paris last week has left me feeling rather deflated.

At first, my esteemed shareholders, I was red with rage! The very moment that Cai Mingchao’s combined 31.5 million euro offer was accepted, I leapt from my chair, and flung my Collector’s Guide across the auction hall - narrowly missing delicate Lot 21. I then burst out of Christie’s and stomped furiously down Av. Matignon, where I found a small café in which to drown my sorrows.

Several bottles of vin du jour later, I found myself staggering drunkenly around Paris’ huitième arrondissement. Eventually I managed to regain my senses and return my suite at the Ritz – but not until after being cautioned by a gendarme for urinating at the intersection of Av. Franklin D. Roosevelt and Av. Des Champs-Elysees.

Regrettably that anger has now transcended into a deep depression - you see I had flown from Hong Kong with the sole intention of acquiring these works of art. Indeed, my eyes had been trained on the two treasures for some time - the Rat (for all its rodent and vermin-like qualities) reminds me of Ian Dunross, while the Rabbit has strangely Gorntian features.

They were to be placed in Rothwell-Gornt’s Boardroom – a stark reminder of the bitter struggle between Hong Kong’s two greatest conglomerates. Instead, their future now hangs in the balance, having been “bought” by an undercover agent of the Chinese National Treasures Fund.

I don’t think I have felt this depressed since my failed takeover of Struan’s in the mid-1980s. But at least I wasn’t outbid by Dunross. Now that would have been unbearable!

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings

7 comments:

Tai-Pan said...

'Gorntian qualities' in a rabbit? Does that mean it's always being put in a stew?

1/2 stick of joss, two bay leaves and a carrot.

The Tai-Pan

Private Beach said...

"I managed to return my suite at the Ritz" you say - but why did you take it away in the first place? And wasn't it a little heavy to carry?

Quillan Gornt said...

Sir,

Damn and blast. I shall have to fire yet another PR advisor!

Best of joss,

Quillan Gornt said...

Taipan,

Not quite - It means it acts quickly, is intelligent and, of course, extremely promiscuous.

Best of joss,

Tai-Pan said...

...and happily eats its own faeces. Couldn't agree more.

Quillan Gornt said...

Sir,

May Struan's be caught in an outragous shareholder vote-buying scandal! Damn and blast you, Taipan!

Best of joss,

Lola said...

Darling noone stays at the Ritz these days... it's here that you want www.kubehotel.com
... and incidentally, in this neighbourhood, it's pretty much anticipated that you urinate in the street. Eh oui!