Thursday, May 7, 2009

Hanoi Hilton for Dunross and Co.

Dear Fellow Shareholders,

My sincere apologies for not communicating with you sooner!

As you might expect I have been preoccupied, unable to tear myself away from the realtime market data supplied my customised 18 carat gold engraved “Taipan QG” Bloomberg terminal. The Hang Seng, you see, has rallied, restoring my previously undervalued net worth and boosting the market capitalisation of this esteemed firm to pre-crunch levels.

As much as I hate to be the one to dampen your euphoric spirits, I must warn you of a potential suspension of trading, and a short-term correction to Rothwell Gornt shares. This action is based on rumours that Ian Dunross will be returning to Hong Kong in coming weeks. The market is already awash with disruptive and false rumours of a Noble House takeover.

The purpose of the Taipan’s visit is essentially benign: he is coming for the Annual General Meeting - originally scheduled in Koh Samui - while also spending a few days in Hong Kong. As a practical joke, I have acquired a minority stake in Struan’s in his absence. Using my voting rights, I have changed the location of the AGM from “Koh Samueee” (as the Taipan says), to Hanoi, Vietnam. The Taipan seems to be the last person on earth not to know about this.

Activism indeed! David Webb would be proud.

In the meantime, I have asked my secretary, the delectable Urethra Chan, to ensure that the Taipan’s flights are changed accordingly – that he flies economy class from Hong Kong to Hanoi in accordance with Noble House regulations (less than 3 hours for business) – and that he be delivered a gluten intolerant vegan lacto-ovo meal during the journey. In Hong Kong, I have kindly offered to pay for his accomodation in a suite at the Metropark Hotel, Wan Chai.

See you in Hanoi, Dunross!

Best of bull market joss,

Quillan Gornt
CEO and Taipan
Rothwell-Gornt Holdings


Tai-Pan said...

A pox on you Gornt! And for your information there will be a Noble House take over - of your garage chain Hong Kong Import Sports Cars. Enjoy taking taxis.

The Tai-Pan

Quillan Gornt said...

Well it's certainly true I'm short of choppers at the moment, Taipan.

Best of joss,